Damned zero bombers....

Check out my new song.. It'll make me smile, hehe...

I promised 'teh pixxorz' in my last post, but now I'm here to tell you something you probably already knew ... because I've been bitching for the past FOREVER about how I fucked up my laptop and had to get it fixed. Well, THIS TIME, I had yet another laptop fuck-up, leading to only two of my picture files importing to my library.. and one of them was an accident pic so it was pretty much black. So, now I give you the only picture that I managed to get out of my camera, a thornless rose . . and also one of the most unfortunate sites to grace the internet. Oh well.

So here we go again. During my internet escapades as of late, I felt the need to poke a stick at the Google search engine and see whatever monstrosity I could find. Due to extreme boredom, I somehow ended up searching for "smex" in all capital letters. The first few results were pretty normal, and I was starting to get disappointed, but then I found this, one of the most unfortunately hilarious pages I've stumbled upon - ever, and just when I thought NASA couldn't get any gayer, no less. If you're a gutter-minded geek like me, read the text. You will laugh your ass off. Seriously, ignore the pictures, just read.

No, really.

Ciao,
Dre, the Master of Cliches

I'm going to Indiana! . . And I'm going to take pictures!

It's for a funeral though, so I probably won't be smiling.

Yeah, I did it. My first submission of '09, albeit an admittedly drunken one. Check it out! =b

Also, for those of you that care, my belated b-day is in 13 days or so.

For anyone who wants to add me on FB, msg me! lol.

*inserts attention whoring here*

Why must you ruin mah piczorz?! And right after my hair fucks up too! Damn, I have the worst luck!

As many of you know, I'm generally pretty revealing about what goes on in my personal life, you know, since I'm an egotistical teenage lesbian hoe-bag and all . . . So, I was wondering something. As a general rule, most of us have come to believe that all the users of NG are social misfits, pedo-bears, 40 year old virgins, or on the path to becoming one of the three. Naturally, you also know that you can't believe everything you see on the internet, or at least I'm assuming you do. But, getting to the point, I wanted to ask each and every one of you this question.

Are you a virgin? . . If not, when did you lose it and if you want to go into detail, who you lost it to/with.

And, since so many of you probably have no clue who I am and what I've done. I'll go ahead and answer the question myself.

Am I a virgin? . . Admittedly, no. What I lost it to is the sad part. Technically, I lost my virginity when I was nine . . to a shopping cart in a Walmart parking lot. I fell on it and busted the fuck out of my cherry . . I never wanted to sit down again, I swear . . . but, besides that, if you don't count cunticular-rape by Walmart buggy as grounds for losing your innocence in the most embarrassing way possible, I did have sex at some kid's birthday party when some jackass spiked all the soda. I can't remember who the poor fuck was. I was eleven, I think . . . or 13, idk . . Yes, I know, I was one hell of a promiscuous motherfucker, but at least I learned from my mistakes, right?

Okay, maybe not. About a year later, when I turned into a closet homo (see lestacular noob post #WTF) I got suckered into drinking way more than I could possibly be able to control myself under the influence of and ended up fucking my best friend, because her dead-beat boyfriend left her high and dry, if you know what I mean . . but anyway, so ultimately, I not only whored around with guys in my not-so-innocent childhood, but continued to fail with the fairer sex as well. Yes, I'm ranting about myself now.

Anyway, I hope that satisfies you sick bastards for a bit, since I'm in a pissy mood now . . I'm not sure why, but really, enjoy the reminiscence of my promiscuity while you can. With my terrible habits of alcohol binging and drug abuse (which I'm trying to stop doing) I might not be able to remember anything at all, eh?

2023 - edited to remove sensitive infos

You guys will not believe what kind of shit I have gotten myself into now. This is the absolute most insane thing I've ever done for a friend (besides fucking). Anyway, so this is how it all started. Sorry if I make typos, I'm really really tired from walking for two or three miles. I'll try to keep it coherent.

So anyways, I was at school, waiting for my ride as usual. I think it was four o'clock or something. Anyway, I'm saying that word a lot, I was with my best male friend, C, who I've known for like . . forever. So, it was late, and I was seriously beginning to doubt that I'd ever get home because it was late enough that the principal of the highschool and his daughter, CC, left and locked the office (so I couldn't call home, like I said I wuld have) so that left C and I nowhere to go and nothing to do.

It was starting to get a little dark already, so we decided to start walking home. We got on the road and walked for a bit, about half a mile down the road until we were almost up to the next street. So, about halfway to the bridge, this black truck pulls up.

At first, we think it's C's mom, because she has pretty brown hair and always wears a red jacket, but when they stop and we get closer, we realize who it is. It was not infact, his mom, it was M, or Mady for short, along with her boyfriend Bn.

"You want a ride?" Mady asked. I only remember it because she's fucking HOT.

C shook his head and said, "No thanks."

"A?"

I shook my head.

"Where you headed?" she asked.

"My house." I said.

Her eyes got big . . "You sure you don't want a ride?"

"We're sure." C said.

She said something back, but I don't remember. Anyway, we started walking again when they left.

"I can't believe I just refused that offer." I said.

"Me either. Damnit!"

"If you would've said yes, I would've said, 'but under one conditon'"

He laughed and suggested something lewd and we talked about flying titties and stuff until we got to a service station, which we passed because I was broke and he was too. Then we walked around a dead possum, which I couldn't smell because I had mint gum . . until we got down the road and I spat it out, which was when my crazy step dad rolled up. He yelled at me to get in the car, like 'imma beat yo ass if you dont get in this car' or something, so I just kept walking, even though Cody told me not to. Then the jackass drove off like a maniac and we got to the intersection, where he did the same thing again. I just put my stuff in the car and ran to the intersection.

Finally, the old man gave up and went home, and we ran as fast as we could through the intersection and took a left at the next road, where we stared singing 'love and marriage' the song that was stuck in our heads all the way there and went back to the previous conversation we were having about how this was the longest time we'd spent together besides the time in band where we were sharing a cd player.

We took a bend and passed a trailerpark and nearly escaped death by truck. The mirror of the truck almost touched his arm! Then, when we were almost to the turn to my road, (he was walking me home and then going to his house) my stepdad showed up again. I screamed something akin to WTF and C finally got me to get in the car . . slowly, mind you. Then my stepdad offered him a lift too. I was surprised.

C got in and we started riding across town to his house. when we got there, i told him to give my last words to Js. we hugged, and he went home. To make matters worse on me, however, we got lost on the way back. I called my mom and found out that the police had been notified of my status as missing, and nearly flipped out (on the inside) . . but finally, I did make it home in one piece even if my legs hurt like fuck now. I still can't believe that I turned down Mady, the sweetest, non-innocent angel I've ever seen. I also can't believe she had Bn stop . . . but anyway, any advice before my mom comes home and kills me?

B Forever! . . . Also, 69.

Well, I'm done with being inactive. I'm tired of falling behind. From now on, I'm devoting my online time to NG, and making stuff to put on here. Speaking of making stuff, I made a flash this morning; a hentai quiz, lol, so go play it! There's going to be more to come soon, when I get my scripts in order.