As many of you know, I'm generally pretty revealing about what goes on in my personal life, you know, since I'm an egotistical teenage lesbian hoe-bag and all . . . So, I was wondering something. As a general rule, most of us have come to believe that all the users of NG are social misfits, pedo-bears, 40 year old virgins, or on the path to becoming one of the three. Naturally, you also know that you can't believe everything you see on the internet, or at least I'm assuming you do. But, getting to the point, I wanted to ask each and every one of you this question.

Are you a virgin? . . If not, when did you lose it and if you want to go into detail, who you lost it to/with.

And, since so many of you probably have no clue who I am and what I've done. I'll go ahead and answer the question myself.

Am I a virgin? . . Admittedly, no. What I lost it to is the sad part. Technically, I lost my virginity when I was nine . . to a shopping cart in a Walmart parking lot. I fell on it and busted the fuck out of my cherry . . I never wanted to sit down again, I swear . . . but, besides that, if you don't count cunticular-rape by Walmart buggy as grounds for losing your innocence in the most embarrassing way possible, I did have sex at some kid's birthday party when some jackass spiked all the soda. I can't remember who the poor fuck was. I was eleven, I think . . . or 13, idk . . Yes, I know, I was one hell of a promiscuous motherfucker, but at least I learned from my mistakes, right?

Okay, maybe not. About a year later, when I turned into a closet homo (see lestacular noob post #WTF) I got suckered into drinking way more than I could possibly be able to control myself under the influence of and ended up fucking my best friend, because her dead-beat boyfriend left her high and dry, if you know what I mean . . but anyway, so ultimately, I not only whored around with guys in my not-so-innocent childhood, but continued to fail with the fairer sex as well. Yes, I'm ranting about myself now.

Anyway, I hope that satisfies you sick bastards for a bit, since I'm in a pissy mood now . . I'm not sure why, but really, enjoy the reminiscence of my promiscuity while you can. With my terrible habits of alcohol binging and drug abuse (which I'm trying to stop doing) I might not be able to remember anything at all, eh?